Sometimes I haven't really got anything important to say in this column, but not this time.  This time I'm going to talk about one of the most important anime debates - who's the crappest warrior in Dragon Ball and why did they stay in it.

Many great minds have approached this subject in the past, often whilst consuming a large number of alcoholic beverages.  There have been strong cases put forward against Krillin, the bald midget who is always leagues behind Goku at every point in the story and frequently fails to have any meaningful impact in any of the battles the Z Warriors fight.  Then there's Yamcha, a one time enemy for Goku who's single greatest moment in Dragon Ball Z is nearly beating a Saiyan Cultivar.  Or how about Raditz, a Saiyan warrior who's strangely vulnerable to headbuts from small children.  Even Master Roshi has been accused by some (of course I beat them soundly for such a suggestion), but there is only one real winner - Chaozu.

Krillen is probably the strongest human who ever lived in the Dragon Ball world, and only suffers because his opponents are even stronger.  He at least tries, as does Yamcha (successfully for a brief while), Raditz nearly defeats both Goku and Piccolo and Master Roshi just rocks, plus he trained Goku and continues to act as his mentor.

Chaozu however does crap all from the time he arrives yet stays in it all the way through.  His mental powers seem impressive to start and he nearly beats Krillen when he first shows up.  And that's it.

After that he spends a lot of time alone in the mountains with Tenshinhan allegedly training, but is still crap when he returns and is totally ineffectual on the rare occasion he actually fights.  His only contribution in Dragon Ball Z is to blow himself up in a laughable attempt to beat Nappa.  The most surprising thing about it all is that the other characters waste a wish brining him back to life, and then promptly leave him at home for all the big fights from then on.  He doesn't even become a comic relief character, he just fades into the background.

Chaozu is the most pointless character in Dragon Ball, just think of all the ink wasted in drawing and printing him, there are schools crying out for decent art supplies and instead we have Chaozu.  Why Toriyama-san, WHY!!!


Yes, once again this is real official merchandise from the Japanese Sanrio website, a Hello Kitty Rear View Mirror!  Yes the Kitty even turns her fingerless hands to road safety. This mirror appears to clip over your existing one, seemingly to no real benefit.  Yes, it's cute.  Yes, it's Hello Kitty.  But the point of a rear-view mirror is to see what's going on behind you, so partially obscuring the mirror with a plastic bow and a Hello Kitty logo is not exactly an improvement.  Ah well, common sense is not exactly the driving force behind a Hello Kitty purchase...